Musings
8:23 p.m. Philadelphia
Sunday, 12 November 2006
I got this very sweet letter today:
Good morning dr,
hello, how are you?
its been two months since this site was opened and since the initial entries in musings... i mean i think you can inspire us more by telling us how we are doing in the forums...and letting us know how you are? we miss you terribly.
regards to you and the family. And wow! i never realized tisay pala ang daughter mo! (Your daughter is half white).
Take care,
hp
O, hp, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I realized I should write something more on my blog/musings section but I must admit to having been stymied. I didn’t know what to say!! (Though Lord knows I have tons and tons I want to share—including seeing the Borat movie last week and laughing till I cried. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.
Boy, this BORAT (Sacha Baron Cohen) is so laglag panty (really cream-in-your-pants material). Bright bright bright and creative as hell—you’ve got to be, to come up with such original material but with such a light touch!! That combination gets me every time!
But I digress.
The reason I haven’t come up with anything else on my musings was that I was shy, you see.
I know, I know, people who imagine they know me (and the operative word here is imagine) giggle—even scoff!!—when they hear me say that.
They think I am being coy. But if they really knew me, they would know being coy, making nice is not my strong suit, That’s why I can never “make tawad” (bargain) or negotiate well.
That’s why my husband thinks he has died and gone to heaven. At least, in one itty bitty aspect of his life: I know immediately whether I want something or not. No foreplay necessary.
Oops! Is that giving more information than I should?
So you see, dearest, hp, that’s why musing any more (that is, making another entry on this blog ) literally petrified me.
I felt I wouldn’t know when to stop. Can I count on you to tell me please, hp? At least for this first entry since after my website was launched? I promise I am a quick learner so you won’t have to hold my hand forever!!! Actually, if you could hold it for the next three times, I would be ecstatic, pero ayoko namang maging (I am loathe to be so) demanding.
SO…
The first reason only one entry since Sept 19 (or O1ESS19) --I have a feeling I will be writing this lots so I might as well have an acronym for it) was because of my shyness that comes up when things matter super mucho to me.
The second was not wanting to look like a fool. I don’t know how this blog thing works, you see. I haven’t read too many of them myself.
I get the feeling they are usually personal, and believe me, I want to be personal. Hell’s bells, I have my own issues and would love to know what people out there (like you!) think…but I also can’t help worrying if such candor will work against my being a good psychologist.
If people know I am silly enough to be outraged by some catty remark, for example, will that lessen my effectiveness as a therapist?
I don’t mind people knowing I’m mababaw (hells bells mababawosity (kababawan-ness?) is part of life!!). But I do worry about whether this will affect my effectiveness as an advice columnist.
But I remember Jeremy’s answer to some smart ass who commented to me: “You’re a marriage counselor and you’ve been divorced three times?!!?” As though it were the strangest, most far fetched thing in the world to happen.
I wanted to say: “actually, I am a clinical psychologist, not a marriage counselor. At least, not in the traditional, soul-numbing way of keeping a marriage together at all costs. (And there are times than staying together will be destroying for one, if not both, spouses).
Actually, being a clinical psychologist and divorcing three men isn’t that much of an oxymoron, I daresay it makes perfect sense.
As a psychologist, one hopes to help people listen to their true selves and act on their best instincts, no matter how loudly society, organized religion, reputation, family (especially that branch of the family tree that worries what people will say!) Scream at them to do otherwise.
And sometimes that means divorcing your husband even if staying together means you have more money or look as good when compared to other professionals in the mental health profession.
But I remember Jeremy’s reaction to this woman’s idiocy. He said: “Doesn’t follow.”
A man of few words, my hubby. Just shows how opposites attract! J.
He continued: “Tiger Woods’ coach is Butch Harmon who never won a golf tournament in his life.”
Borat, Schmorat.
I now realize the most laglag panty is hubby-- with his gift of succinct-ness and ability to provide the best analogy.
So wish me luck, hp. And hopefully I can mm (muse more) without any more prodding from others. XXX-M